It's taken a while for me to figure out what my perfect Sunday is. It used to be making sure we were busy and on the go-- friends to see, things to do. But as this weekend comes to a close, I've realized it's much simpler to make me happy now than years ago. I have less desire to see everyone and do everything. I still don't like to be stuck doing absolutely nothing, but I'm finding an inner sort of peace in taking a break from pushing myself so hard.
This morning I wrote one chapter. One. Of one book. Four years ago, I would have written a minimum of two or three on three or four different books. Because I needed to make something happen. I'm not sure what made me realize I'm missing all of the things that are happening by waiting for them to, but I'm glad I clued in.
So what's happened this Sunday? Not a whole lot and it has been lovely. My daughters and I listened to Old Dominion (on repeat), did some chores and ventured out to Walmart. For the rest of the day we're going to just hang and wait for my husband to come home and BBQ some chicken (for me) and steak (for the rest of them). We'll probably watch an episode of Friends while working on one of the Disney puzzles we bought.
I thought, for a long time, that I was waiting for more-- something exciting or "bigger". I have no idea what, but I used to feel like if I wasn't busy, I was somehow letting myself down. Not being productive enough. But learning to balance the busy with the breaks is making a positive impact. There's this amazing happiness that sort of washes over you when you stop waiting for the next thing and focus on be grateful for right now.
Tomorrow I'll probably find a dozen ways to make myself busier than I need to be, but for tonight, I'm curling up and taking a break.