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Detours

11/23/2013

I'm not the only one to crash into the sun and live to fight another day
~Hedley

Image from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland

I've decided to self-publish the original story that sparked A Not So Lonely Christmas. It's called Forever Christmas. I wrote it in the summer with my sights on a particular editor. I hadn't yet slowed my pace- I was still in the fairly frantic state of needing desperately to be validated for my writing. Losing an agent when you only just realized how lucky you were to get one sometimes dents your self-esteem. I enjoyed writing Forever Christmas, enjoyed the characters that emerged from it, and am certainly grateful for the secondary characters that found their way into the Foreward Anthology, Holiday Spice. Still, I hadn't ever really wanted to self-publish. To be honest, eighteen months ago, I hadn't thought of being published at all.

The journey that I've been on so far has been eye-opening, humbling, gratifying, and heart-twisting. When I started entering contests, pitchwars and the like, I started to enjoy the recognition for my writing. Then I started to crave it. I began to write more and more, carving into my free time, family time, sleep time. As much as I love writing, it was starting to get in the way. I saw it. My friend saw it. My husband saw it. But I wanted so badly to think that it wasn't just a fluke that an agent signed me. I wanted to believe that my writing was good enough to get another agent. An agent better suited to my writing, my genre choice, and my personality. I still want to find that agent and am hopeful I will. However, I've finally stepped back a tiny bit and found some perspective. I don't want writing to be something that consumes me. Rather, it is supposed to calm me. There's a line in a song that I love (Breathe by Anna Nalik) that says: "If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to". Writing has always been an outlet for me, a way to say what couldn't be said. Not always meant for sharing, but in a sense, healing. I let that slip away for a while because I was writing for the wrong reasons. I can't say what particular moment made me stop and look, really look, at what I was doing to myself. I was allowing praise and rejections from agents and editors define my worth. I do this with other things in my life- I think we all do to some extent. It felt like when they were rejecting my work, they were rejecting me. Then I got an offer to publish my story in the anthology. I'm excited and proud. But essentially, it didn't change anything. Agents don't want me more now because I published one little story, I still have overwhelming moments of self-doubt, and overall, I don't write any differently.

I guess I realized that no matter what I publish, who signs me, or how far I take this, it's not going to change the essentials. I don't want to change who I am or be something I am not. I don't want to write just to appeal to a particular person or just to get attention. Realizing that the quality of my writing matters more than recognition for it was, in a sense, freeing. So while I had been looking away from self-publishing, thinking it said something less about me to try it, I've now decided that I'm okay with it. More than okay. I'm going to get to share my story, that I'm very proud of, with others. Maybe the only people who read it will be my friends and family, but it'll be there, on a list of holiday book choices available for download. None of this changes my desire to have an agent or my desire to push some of my stronger, more intricate work forward. However, it's made me see that I can do some of this my way for the simple reason that I'm proud enough of my work to want to share it and not just to catch someone's eye. I suppose I have come full circle, in a sense, and have gotten back to writing for me.

I'm not sorry for the journey so far: I've met far too many awesome people to be sorry. Also, putting my words out there, for praise or rejection, has made them stronger. It's made me stronger. The last rejection I got, I didn't even flinch. Because it wasn't about me, it was about my writing and, as hard as that is to separate in my heart, I've realized that it's not the same thing.

I'm hoping to have Forever Christmas uploaded to amazon and available in the first week or so of December...if you're interested. Do you have any thoughts on self publishing?

You said what?

11/18/2013

Image from abovethelaw.com

I think, as a whole, writers are a unique group of artists. We need feedback to make our work better, we utilize the feedback (hopefully) to strengthen and tighten our writing. We rely on others even though writing is a largely independent task. We are attached to our work, to our characters, and our story lines. To share those is one thing; to receive criticism on them is another. It is never easy to hear that something you've put pieces of your heart and soul into did not come across the way you hoped it would. But just like other industries, the competition is fierce and good is not good enough. Your writing has to be great and for that to happen, you have to use that feedback, even if it hurts, to make your writing stand out.

Having said that, there are ways to critique and ways to...not critique. I've been editing for well over a year now and I have seen multiple manuscripts, come to know many characters, and been introduced to entire new worlds. Were they all my taste? No. Did I love every single bit of every single one? No. Do I even read in that genre? Sometimes but not always. All of these people trusted me with their words, those little pieces of themselves, and if I've agreed to edit it, to help them, I need to do that in the most constructive way possible. So, think hard before you say you will help make someone a better writer. If you think you can do that by tearing them down first, you're wrong. I'll share some ideas, based on experience, of how you can, gently, guide writers in the right direction.

Instead of:
What? Huh? I don't get it? I'm totally confused? Who's talking?
Try:
The introduction does not clarify who the speaker is. (Side note: let the writer finish the first sentence before you start saying you're confused. Give it a chance.)

Instead of:
I don't feel anything for your characters. I'm not drawn to them at all.
Try:
Ask questions about the character that will encourage the writer to dig deeper. For example: Does the character have any nervous habits? Can you show through body language how the character feels about this?

Instead of:
I wouldn't turn the page on this.
Try:
Asking the writer questions. They might just not know where the best part to start the story is. Tell them what DID grab you. Tell them what you WANT to know more about.

If you offer to edit a fellow writer's work, remember to have some etiquette. Don't leave them feeling like they should scrap the entire piece: EVEN IF, IN YOUR OWN MIND, YOU THINK THEY SHOULD.

My daughter tells the worst knock knock jokes. I don't want her to stop telling jokes for the rest of her life, but if she's going to tell them, I'm going to help her tell ones that actually make people laugh. To do that, I have to work with her, look up jokes, get her to practice them and then let her try them on me again.

Yes, writing requires talent. I think that writers have a strong sense of story or at least an affinity for words. Regardless, there are ways to learn to become a better writer. Maybe the person you edit for won't be published. But that doesn't mean you can't help them be better at something that matters to them. My daughter won't be a comedian but I can help her tell a joke with confidence. Don't take away someone's confidence by being careless with your words. Do the same thing with your feedback that you would do with your own writing before you send it off: EDIT. Make sure your words will help, not hurt.

And if that doesn't work, go with the old adage, if you can't say anything nice....

Have you had constructive feedback that made you better at something? Share it below.

Making words matter

11/9/2013

Writing has always been something that has come easily to me. I whip off genuine, personalized report cards in a day. I can write a blog post in under ten minutes. I wrote my first novel (without edits) in four weeks. When the story is there for me, it's not difficult to get it down on paper. That's not bragging-- it's just the way I've always written. Having said that, in the past, my writing has always been for me so it hasn't mattered that there were glitches in the plot or character inconsistencies. Now that I'm actively trying to make my stories stand out above others, to make my writing catch the eye of an agent, what was once good has to be spectacular. Good is not good enough and speed doesn't count for anything.

It's difficult to separate yourself from your writing long enough to see the faults and weaknesses. I'm okay with having them and I'm okay with fixing them but the thing that is hard for me is narrowing in on where they are. This is why it's so important to utilize the feedback that anyone, particularly anyone in the writing/publishing/editing/agenting industry, has to offer. The people that I have "met" in the last year through social media and because of putting myself out there as a writer, have been incredibly supportive and kind and positive. I feel as close to some of them as I do to some of the friends that live down the road from me. I believe you can establish strong bonds and friendships via social media and email. It's new age pen pals. The difference, however, is the personal element is removed so they can, perhaps, offer that extra bit of hard criticism you need. Why? Because even though they like all your statuses on Facebook and retweet your tweets, even though you chat more frequently with them than others who live a few minutes away, they haven't seen you cry when you get a rejection letter or laugh like an idiot when you get amazing feedback. They know you but they don't KNOW you. This can be a very good thing for a writer as it allows them to be a stronger critic. There's an element of detachment that comes with online friendship that can only be changed by actually physically meeting. And I hope that one day I get to meet some of the amazing people that have befriended me. In fact, I already have met some of them and it's a pretty awesome feeling when they're just as cool as you thought they'd be. However, until I meet the others, I can let that buffer level of detachment work in my favor. They can be just a little harsher than my best friend who has to put up with me being moody when she tells me what I know is the truth. If they don't want to deal with my irritation over pointing out something that needs fixing, they can move away from the computer. Trust me, my best friend can't. I will show up at her house cause I'm fifty shades of needy and clingy like that.
So the point is, I'm going to spend some time really letting the feedback wash over me, knowing that these people who are offering me pointers and suggestions, for some reason, want me to succeed. I've said it before but it bears repeating: writers are the most supportive, encouraging group of competitors you could align yourself with. I guess it's because there can never be too many books. Or maybe it's because the same story can be told a million different and compelling ways. Whatever the reason, the writer's I've met want every bit as badly as I do to succeed. But they fall over themselves with praise, feedback, encouragement, and their valuable time to make sure I'm right there with them.
For the next little bit, I will be drawing on them to help me make my work the strongest it can be. I will also be checking out as many articles, blogs, posts,and websites as I can. Here's what I'm starting with this week:

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/ways-to-create-multi-dimensional-characters-tip-1/

http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/creating-emotional-conflict-and-tension-in-a-roman.html

Any good sites you'd recommend for character development or building conflict? Share.

Holy writer's block, Batman

11/2/2013

I seem to have a severe case of writer's block. I don't believe it's catchy so it's probably self-induced. I'm trying to come up with theories as to why I can't write all the words I want to. Here's what I have so far:
1. I can't actually write and my brain just realized it.
2. I can only think/write in 140 character sentences (I wanted to count that just now)
3. I've watched so many episodes of Good Luck Charlie that I my brain doesn't understand adult romance anymore.
4. There are no more words or original concepts in my head.

However, what I really think it is that I'm in a holding pattern. I'm standing on the edge of the page waiting to see if it'll turn, if I can turn it, or if the book is closed. I'm part of an anthology being released very soon and I'm curious-nervous-excited about how that will go. I have my latest full manuscript, my best one I think, out with six agents by request and a partial of it out with another agent. And not just any agents-- amazing agents. I feel like I'm waiting to see if everyone comes back and says no. If that happens, I have to figure out why. I have to reassess what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. I have to reassess if I should be doing it. My brain might be imposing a self-preserving hold so that if the rejections start coming in on Damaged, I haven't tied myself into another piece of writing that truly matters to me.

Over the last year, I've realized that even when I say I'm going to quit, I don't mean quit writing. I may quit querying and putting myself out there for a bit just to gather some perspective but it's impossible to imagine that I will simply stop writing. It is not easy to put a piece of yourself out there for others to assess and judge. It's also not something I would have imagined myself capable of even eighteen months ago. But the process has made me stronger as a person and a writer. The trick, for me, has been to take the feedback and apply it to my writing. It's hard not to take it personally, because writing is personal, but when you're querying agents you want to stand behind you and your work, it's also a business. They know what they're looking for, what excites them and what they can sell. It is hard to disconnect yourself from your work enough to realize that when they reject your writing, they aren't rejecting you.

So, maybe my writer's block is stemming from my mental preparation to face these facts should the ending not go the way I want. Or maybe my overactive-relentless-non-stop-worrier-brain just needs a break. I'll let you know.

Detours

I'm not the only one to crash into the sun and live to fight another day~Hedley

You said what?

Making words matter

Holy writer's block, Batman

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I'm not the only one to crash into the sun and live to fight another day
~Hedley